Cynical Sincere Proverbs 12:27

I decided to devote the last Cynical Sincere Proverb of the year to the scourge of American public discourse  (or whatever passes for it on the Internet): the ridiculously over-inflated appraisal we place on our own opinions (which is worth much more that "valueless" trinkets like "facts" or reason" or "relevance") So without further ado:

"The problem with people offering their 'two cents' is that they want a dollar for the trouble (when they really should be offering a half-cent clearance sale to unload such worthless junk.)"

Cynical Proverbs 12:23

“I don’t know the facts of this case..."

This little quote comes from some Focus on the Family douchebag, Stuart Shephard, speculating on the motive of Planned Parenthood shooter Robert Dear (which is such a mystery to decipher since Dear only shouted his deranged reasons from the rooftops with a bullhorn and all.) Even though Dear only ranted about being a "warrior for babies" like a thousand times, Shephard still felt the need to make up a motivation (one pilfered from an unused draft of Reefer Madness, from the sound of it), perhaps so that he, Dear and OJ Simpson can get together to find the "real killer." Of course, you couldn't really blame Shephard since he began his false narrative with the Official Republican Mantra (tm) quoted above. Seeing how people like this Focus on the Family twit aren't going let silly little things like "reality" or "evidence" (or God forbid, research) get in the way of unneeded conspiracy theories, I offered this little media proposal on the Wonkette boards:

Seriously. Any pundit or "political operative" who uses that phrase should have their mics immediately and permanently turned out for the rest of the story cycle.

Cynical Proverbs 12:13

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

After being smothered in sauce deep-friend hatred (served with a vintage whine made from only the most sour of grapes.) Of course being Americans, we'll insist on oh-so fattening extra helpings.

Cynical Proverbs 12:06

"With have nothing to fear, but fear itself."

Says you! We also have to fear Syrian orphans, transsexuals taking a shit, guys getting gay-married in the butt, and black people doing dangerous things like wielding toys and existing.

What about guns? Afraid of those?

Well now you're just being paranoid!

But aborting our common sense is ok, right?

This quick little clarification of my stance on abortion came after hearing, yet again, politicians who should know better, refer to a (ultimately debunked and discredited) video that reportedly shows Planned Parenthood talking about how they sell discarded baby parts on the black market and the Abortionplex garage sale (Because who needs commodity chips when fetal tissue is where the real money is?) This is of course utter ridiculousness (that, as you guys may know, recently, led to tragic results of domestic terrorism) manfucatured to prevent a service to women that is perfectly legal.

Anyway,  here's what I simply stated on a forum when the subject came up:

"I support a woman's right to keep her baby. I also support a woman's right to an abortion. Of course my 'support' doesn't really mean much, since it's none of fuckin business in any case."

Cynical Proverbs 11:29

(Yes, yes i know, I'm running behind schedule on these things. If i were any more "late", I'd be Bristol Palin.)

Anyway this installment is particularly relevant in light of recent developments.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

And since these "apples" tend to be all mushy and spotted and riddled with worms, maybe it time to grow even MORE of these apple trees and then burn down the vines of strawberries for good measure.

Wait, what? (Sorry folks. That's the last time i let Fox News edit my posts.)

Cynical Proverbs 11:23

"Ignorance is bliss"

In that case the United States must be the the goddamn happiest place on earth. We are like the muthafuckin Disneyland of countries in that respect.

Cynical Proverbs 11:14

"Beauty is only skin deep"

Unfortunately too many are ugly to the bone. Not me though! Under my skin is some sexy arousing tendons. And if I'm skinned and you guys saw some of my hot raw and exposed sinews...oh baby!

Veterans Day Etiquette

One of problems with the way we as a country fetishize soldiers is that we tend to treat them as mere a action figures rather than actual human beings. As a result sometimes we (usually well-meaning and unintentionally) rush to invade a sense of decorum when dealing with returning veterans in an effort to treat their experience as a Michael Bay epic come to life or as a result of misguided efforts of Patriotism (tm). So, on this Veterans Day someone was thoughtful enough to compose a handy list on what not to ask returning veterans in order to give them and their experiences the respect they deserve (And as a clarification, let me say that while i advocate that the best way to treat veterans is not to make any more, i concede that these brave men and women are risking their lives in the pointless wars we keep insisting they fight, and they absolutely deserve respect for the courage and perseverance of doing so.) From the Salon (via Alternet) article:

1. Don’t ask: Did you kill anybody or how many people did you kill?Seems like it should be obvious but veterans get this question too much. It is traumatizing and intrusive. Don’t do it.
2. Don’t ask: What was it like over there?You are basically asking someone to relive a traumatizing experience. That’s insensitive, to say the least. According to Iraq vet Jason Moon, “Their mind goes right back to the combat zone, they re-experience the trauma, they retrigger the hyper-vigilance and they begin to isolate again and after enough civilians have said that, they begin to realize that this is not the conversation they can have with civilians.”
Obviously, don’t ask any variations on this question, like what was the worst thing you experienced?
3. Don’t ask: Do you have PTSD?Way too personal and presumptuous of a question. None of your business.
4. Don’t say: I know just how you feel.You don’t. You may know someone who has PTSD and you may have experienced insomnia. But it is not the same. As Moon says, some traumatized vets go sleepless for nights on end, or subsist on two or four hours a night. Even if you have lost friends, you don’t know what it is like for veterans to watch people they know (and don’t know) die in warfare.
5. Don’t ask: How could you leave your kids, or didn’t you miss your kids?Surprise, female vets get this question more. It does not begin to get to the complexity of the experience, and it is obviously thinly veiled criticism, not a real question.
6. Don’t say: I’m glad you made it home OK, or I’m glad nothing happened to you.Not all wounds are visible, and having all your limbs does not mean nothing happened to you. PTSD is not readily visible. As Moon says: “You can’t tell that I regularly get two to four hours of sleep a night, that I have nightmares almost every night, that I have anxiety attacks and that I’ve tried to take my own life—you can’t see traumatic brain injury, you can’t see military sexual trauma and you can’t see PTSD. And when you say to someone, I’m glad you made it home uninjured, you reinforce in their mind that we do not honor the invisible.”
7. Don’t say: I think you should put it behind you, get over it, or move on with you life.PTSD permanently alters the brain physically. It’s not something you can simply put behind you.
8. Don’t say: Did you see the news … and then share news of a gruesome attack in Iraq or Afghanistan.Many vets still have friends over there. This is not just news to them. It is felt and personal experience. They do not need to relive it.
9. Don’t say: What can I do to help?Unless you really mean it.
What to say:Welcome home.
Thank you.
How are you doing? (But be ready to listen.)
Or, just listen.

Update (11-11-15): Just thought this entry from Hullabaloo would make a good companion piece to this. The last paragraph in particular highlights that a big part of actually respecting and supporting veterans is taking proper care of them:

Wars of choice are unconscionable (and we’ve explored that in depth in other pieces), but especially if one supports such a war or really any war, it’s inexcusable not to take care of that war’s veterans. That means not serving up hollow slogans or flag-waving or jingoistic platitudes and instead providing actual help, from physical health care, to mental health care, to jobs programs. (Honestly, all of that would a good idea for the whole country, too.) The vacuous, the rabid, and the dullards might not want to discuss such things – or any of the negative consequences of war – but addressing them remains a matter of basic decency and common sense. 

Cynical Proverbs 11:07

"There are plenty of fish in the sea"

Mostly because, from the looks of many people's lovers, they keep fishing out old boots and tires. Maybe a few octopuses as well (although i think that was mostly hentai.)

Super Cynical Sincere Proverbs 11:02 Ultra Turbo Plus

Speaking of milking the franchise...

Yep you get a double-dose this week, as we get to hear "Cynical Proverbs" less nastier cousin (Even has a "Purity Seal of Approval" stamped on it's naughty bits and everything), Sincere Proverbs. Well now on to my own personal pearls cubic zirconias of wisdom:

"The problem with our society is that our favorite letter is 'I' and our least favorite letter is 'Y.'"

Cynical Proverbs 11:02: Special Championship Edition

And we're back after a brief hiatus for a retool (I was losing young males and the suits up top advised me to get jiggy with something) So after a month of pretty much doing nothing, it's time to return to my blog to...pretty much do nothing.

At least it's a special kind of nothing. And no, despite what the title implies, it would be anything as cool as throwing hadokens or over-milking the franchise. Instead this "special edition" Cynical Proverbs is so because you get it on a Monday. Exciting huh? (And you in the back, stop trying to search around for a gift receipt) Anyway here we go:

"Honesty is the best policy."

The sound you heard was all the people in the service industry laughing hysterically.

We interrupt this program for an important announcement

Just a note to let blog readers (I think i manage to get it up to a whole three people now! Progress!) know that i am taking a month long vacation from this blog to travel to Other-Important-Responsibilities-I-Have-To-Take-Care-Off Land (Hey that game of Dragon Age: Inquisition isn't going to play itself you know! Oops. Er...disregard that last sentence.) Yes I know I'll miss out on a big chunk the tragic predictably of inanity so that by the time i come back to this blog (Looks into Magic 8-ball of Horrors here):

• Kim Davis will be engaging in her sixth legal and Constitutional violation
• They'll be at least two mass shooting that won't (of course) change the dysfunctional relationship this has with guns that will have knocked the current tragedy out of the media loop (and so much for these cretins and losers using carnage to "try to make a name for themselves"), 
• At least three African-Americans will be brutalized and/or killed by the police for committing the crime of existing while black being such hardcore thugs that cops had no choice but to violate their rights and their lives, which will result in nothing more then "debating" on how much the victim is to blame (But they were wearing those gangsta bikinis or driving a BMW or sassing the cops by insisting they have rights or other obvious threatening mannerism that needed violent retribution.) The "good" news about police brutality is the the script for handling it has become so predictable that you can actually read my earlier post on the subject and it will still be just as relevant. 

And yes it is unfortunate that in America, horrifying tragedy seems to work on a more regular schedule then this blog does, and even more so that our country doesn't think it's that big of a problem. In any case, I'm going to begin my break now. Who knows? I might even try that radical "going outside" stuff. See you in a month.

Cynical Proverbs 9:26

 "This will hurt me than it hurts you"

 Well we could trade places and find out. I'm sure if I'm the one offering the pain and abuse, it would ease your "suffering.

The Kim Davis interview : a game of "Hungry Hungry Hypocrite"

(9-23-15) Edited to add more interview idiocy as well as this meme-tastic photo to show that Kim Davis is just as lovely on the outside as she is on the inside. Try to control yourself in that presence of such sexy sexiness:

This is just another blogging quickie for now, but America's crowned bigotry princess, Kim Davis, is so insistent on hilariously embarrassing herself, that that I have to comment on the whinefest she gave to ABC News on Monday while failing to hit the softballs interviewer Paula Faris tosses her way. Here's a piece of the interview where Davis demonstrates that she's as adept with ideological and internal consistency as she is with Constitutional scholarship (i.e not at all):

Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis, who refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, said she's been called Hitler, a hypocrite and a homophobe, she told ABC News' Paula Faris today in an interview in Morehead, Kentucky."What people say about me does not define who I am. That’s everybody’s opinion and that’s everybody’s right," Davis told ABC News. Davis said she's been "called Hitler, I’ve been called [a] hypocrite, I’ve been called a homophobe." "I’ve been called things and names that I didn’t even say when I was in the world. Those names don’t hurt me," Davis said. "What probably hurt me the worst is when someone tells me that my God does not love me or that my God is not happy with me, that I am a hypocrite of a Christian."

Accurate descriptions names like "hypocrite" don't bother Davis but the way to really hurt her is to say she's hypocritical about her "Christian principles" because she doesn't care what people are saying about her. Got all that? If you do, you obviously have a better Idiot-to English guide than I do. I guess for a dumb broad like Davis, a "hypocrite" is just an animal that lives around African rivers. And let's back up for a minute and examine this baloney a bit closely:

What people say about me does not define who I am. That’s everybody’s opinion and that’s everybody’s right,"

Which is odd, since it thought the entire point of this bullshit was that Kim Davis thinks that everyone does not have rights? That's why she thinks it's ok to violate her occupational oath as well as several court orders. If she respected "everyone's opinion and everyone's right" then she wouldn't be in this mess. (Oops there we go again, gay-agenda-ing bigoted would-be mini-tyrants with our "reasoning.") Besides, it's understandable that Davis isn't thinking clearly. Her mind is occupied with figuring out how she can screw over gay couple and their legally-protected rights yet again before she's hauled back off to jail for her umpteenth contempt if court (Hmm, I could have sworn there was a word to describe the obvious irrational hatred this woman has for the gays. Oh well, I'm sure a non-hypocrite like her can figure it out.)

Update: More interview amusement:

“People are saying you’re a hypocrite. Are you?” asks ABC’s Paula Faris. “No, I’m forgiven,” Davis says. “Washed clean.”

I wish God would do the same for her hair.  I guess He's too busy punishing gay people for engaging in their legal rights to take a little of the generic-branded watered down cleaning detergent to finish scrubbing away the shit stains on Kim's soul. But that can be hard when this "clean" woman insists on rolling around in the muck of discrimination over and over again.

Update 2, Special Championship Edition Turbo: I forgot to mention this piece of WTF ridiculousness when talking about the ABC interview. See, we were too hasty in accusing Kim Davis of being a spiteful little bigot because, as she points out "some of her best friends are black!" (Ok she actually uses the rainbow-hued equivalent of that cliche and uses "gay" instead.) These "friends" (the address is 123 Fake Street in Imaginationland for eager fans wanting the guided tour) prove that she's not a shrill, hateful harpy! Except that theyll probably be here ex-friends because she proudly mentions that she'd deny them marriage licenses too (and any potential gay children too, just in case the repulsive vile wasn't apparent enough.) Apparently is too dumb to realize the the whole point of reciting that trite and hoary argumentative defense is to prove you aren't a discriminatory idiot.

Cynical Sincere Proverbs: 9:19

Kim Davis: Government  Welfare Queen showing off that her licensed to bigot is notarized by Right-Wing Fantasy Jesus, so SUCK IT highest court in the nation!

This particular quote I created was inspired by America's favorite bureaucratic obstructionista, bravely defending her "insincerely-held religious privilege" from the evil tyranny of the Gay Mafia wanting to oppress decent Christian bigots by utilizing their legally-protected right to homo-marry each other. Seeing her haggard mug of spiteful unpleasantness paraded around as the fundamentalist queen of Professional Victimhood  (not that she's going to quit her first job, despite a small hindrance of refusing to actually do it, even under court order and Constitutional decree, like that matters to a government official who's delusional bout of power-mad pettiness was sanctioned the lawful decree of Biblical Misinterpretation), it got me to ponder:

"If  the result is we get to spend an eternity with people like this, why is it called 'Heaven'?"

         

Cynical Proverbs 9:04

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

Unlike the road to heaven, which is paved with bad intentions (oh and potholes!) I guess being traversed under the weight of all that sanctimony did a number on the poor street.

Fuck off: Special Katrina Anniversary Edition!

This will be short and...well not exactly sweet.  How do lightly-toasted rat dicks taste? However they do, there are sure a whole bunch of people who need to eat them in regards to the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina ravaging places like New Orleans.

Blind item: Which moronic douche bag ex-president recently crawled out of the Hole of Good Riddance to speak at the scene of one of his biggest clusterfucks? If you guessed "The-Decider-in-Chief" you win the door prize! It is nice of George W. Bush to briefly speak at a Louisiana charter school (Heh. This failure of an ex-president is speaking at his educational equivalent. I guess our presidents isn't learning after all.) so we get a good reminder of why he's currently as popular and wanted as toe fungus  (yet still more popular than Jeb!) Rather then do silly things like offer self reflection and repentance, he instead used the opportunity to praise the success of things like charter schools  (um...no) for helping to "rebuild" New Orleans after Bush's slow and inadequate response to the Katrina disaster. Now that he has had his say and reminded everyone what a incompetent pustule he is, he can FUCK OFF right back to the oblivion he deserves. Don't want to linger too long there, Bush. After all eventually the townspeople might remember where they left their torches and pitchforks.

Obviously that well-regarded concern for his fellow man was an inherent trait by this Mistress of Empathy, who, let us remember, delightfully rhapsodize about "lucky" all those displaced Katrina evacuees were that they got an impromptu vacay:

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas," Barbara Bush said in an interview on Monday with the radio program "Marketplace." "Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality.""And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway," she said, "so this is working very well for them."

Well sure, a bunch of people lost loved one and their livelihoods and were frantic with worry about the status of missing friends and family or how they were going to put their lives together, but they got to sleep on a public cot in the Astrodome! For "those people" it was like "summering" if the freaking Hamptons.

FUCK OFF, you callous, oblivious old bat!

But let's not exhaust our disgust yet, because there are two big heaping scoops of "FUCK YOUS" reserved for Michael "Heckuva job, Brownie" Brown, who proved that for a former director of FEMA, he was a really good horse trader! For some reason, people seem to think that being the director of an agency that failed spectacularly at response to a disaster means you should be held accountable. Well it's a good thing Brownie found time to whine to Politico to set all those big meanies heaping scorn on him straight. Here's a particular piece of blame-deflecting right here:

“The American public needs to learn not to rely on the government to save them when a crisis hits. The larger the disaster, the less likely the government will be capable of helping any given individual. We simply do not have the manpower to help everyone. Firefighters and rescue workers would all agree the true first responders are individual citizens who take care of themselves. The federal government should be involved only in those disasters that are beyond the capacity of state and local governments to handle. Centralized disaster response at the national level would destroy the inherent close relationship between citizens and those who save their lives and protect their property in times of everyday disasters.”

I'll wait for you to stop slapping your palm to your forehead in exasperation after gagging on that idiocy.

Hey here's a disaster that "might be beyond the capacity of of state and local government to handle": A fucking hurricane that killed over eighteen-hundred people and left tens of thousands homeless and was one of the costliest in history, you rancid pile of shit! (By the way, I love the underlying message of Brown's excuses: "Federal government is full incompetence and ineffectual morons! I'm 'exhibit A.'See look how many suffered putting my self-fulfilled prophecy into effect!"

Maybe I was too subtle. So let me "celebrate" this shameful and sorrowful anniversary by giving every "compassionate and responsible" blast-from-the-past one last parting gift we all know they deserve.

FUCK OFF!

Update (8-31-15): Did you want to hear these very sentiments in a more elegant and nuanced fashion? (If you're reading this blog the answer is obviously "no.")  If so, you have the treat of seeing Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow find a classy way to tear Michael Brown a new asshole over his whiny defensiveness regarding his deadly ineptitude as FEMA chief.


Update II, The New Batch (9-01-15): I've been so upset and disgusted about the callous disregard for the lives lost during Hurricane Katrina, I’ve never considered how "lucky" the victims were to be part of nature’s own urban renewal project. Fortunately we have one Kristen McQueary, columnist for the Chicago Tribune (and fine graduate of the Barbara Bush School of Empathy and Compassion) to tell us not to see 1,800 dead and millions of predominantly poor residents displaced, but dewy-eyed opportunity:

That’s why I find myself praying for a real storm. It’s why I can relate, metaphorically, to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.  

Actually that might sounds a bit insensitive, which is why McQueary quickly edited her column.

That’s why I find myself praying for a storm. OK, a figurative storm, something that will prompt a rebirth in Chicago. I can relate, metaphorically, to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.

Oh well that makes it better! I look forward to McQuaery’s next column were she rhapsodizes about how burning people jumping to their death during the 9/11 terror attack enabled New York revitalization project. Actually I don’t wish that because I have some fucking common sense, so FUCK OFF (“figuratively,” of course) for penning one of the most callously oblivious, tone-def, insulting pieces ever regarding victims of natural disasters. The survivors of Hurricane Katrina deserve much more than to hear some unfeeling cow wishing they’d wash away with the debris so New Orleans can become gentrified playground for the upper-class. 

Cynical Proverbs 8:29

"I'm colorblind.

No, you're just blind!

"Hey, that's unfair."

What the hell? Oh hi Colorblind Guy

"But this is a good platitude. Let me explain."

Ugh! Ok, fine. Go ahead and clarify your position.

"All I meant was that the world would be better it were a mass of bland boring indistinguishable, depressing gray. Oh if only we can make the earth into the slice of heaven that is the Neutral Planet"

Do you really believe that?

"I neither confirm or deny it."

Cynical Proverbs 8:22

"Crime doesn't pay!"

Unless of course you're part of the for-profit prison industry. (Someone should really do something about that. Why, speak of the devil...)

Because "white-on-white" crime doesn't exist?

This is going to be another brief post here (Geez! I seem to be offering more "quickies" than Al Bundy, lately. But this time someone else is going to do the heavy lifting. This piece from Daily Kos is such a brilliant deconstruction of the odious "Black-on-black crime" talking point that pundits and concern trolls spew out whenever they need to paint blacks as pathological (it makes the "see, they're all thugs" counterargument stick whenever one of those "isolated incidences" that mysteriously results in a cop or an NRA vigilante "accidentally" killing an unarmed black person because their thuggish bikinis and gangsta cigarettes made them feel all "a'scared".) Seriously, read it! I'm jealous I didn't write about it first (although I have always loathed the phrase, as if white people never committed crimes against each other.) Let me just go all statistical on your asses by quote this from the linked entry :

Whites are 6 times as likely to be murdered by another white person as by a black person; and overall, the percentage of white Americans who will be murdered by a black offender in a given year is only 2/10,000ths of 1 percent (0.0002). This means that only 1 in every 500,000 white people will be murdered by a black person in a given year. Although the numbers of black-on-white homicides are higher than the reverse (447 to 218 in 2010), the 218 black victims of white murderers is actually a higher percentage of the black population interracially killed than the 447 white victims of black murderers as a percentage of the white population.In fact, any given black person is 2.75 times as likely to be murdered by a white person as any given white person is to be murdered by an African American.

If essays like this help get rid of the noxious dog whistle coda that is "Black-on black violence", then so much the better. That will be one less term used to dehumanize and deflect ("See they do it too!"). Good riddance.

The Cowardly Lion (Hunter)

Just a quickie here folks.

I'm sure many of you have already heard about some asshole dentist, who paid a whole bunch of money to hunt down and slaughter a popular Zimbabwean lion (even though, it honestly doesn't seem much like a "hunt" to me since the lion was, almost passively, led out of his holding to a killing ground awaiting his slaughter. It's more like a shooting gallery where there was only one target. This ain't Kraven's Last Hunt II, folks.) He's not exact.y real popular right now and is in fact in hiding from an angry public (yep, big bad hunter, that one.)

I know that the discrepancy in outrage been pointed out in other forums regarding how this incident seemed to inspire a huge outcry from the public, while the semi-weekly occurrence of black folk being killed or beaten by the police is greeted with an overpowering wave of indifference. That accusation has some basis to it, as the people have demonstrated a spirit of protest about Cecil the Lion that (aside from the #Blackfolksmatter crowd) hasn't quite come forth regarding African-Americans killed. (although, in an exciting "took-you-long-enough" plot twist, a recent poll suggests that white people are realizing that maybe, just maybe there might be a problem with the way minorities are treated in society.) However I would suggest a larger perspective be taking with this issue, since the thought process is drawn from the same well.: the need to totes a supposed superiority through dominance. As I joked about when an equally repulsive millionaire murdered a rhino:

 He's only doing this because the commie pinko libs won't let the 1% hunt the poorz like they REALLY want to.

Update: Apparently it looks like Digby also sees a connection of Cecil the Lion being "practice" for bigger and better game:

Hopefully, he’s going to sit there and say, ‘When I become elected president, what we’re going to do is we’re going to make the border a vacation spot, it’s going to cost you $25 for a permit, and then you get $50 for every confirmed kill,’ ” said Jim Sherota, 53, who works for a landscaping company. “That’d be one nice thing.”

Kind of like killing Cecil the Lion only a lot closer and cheaper

And kids be ready to trade in your copies of Grand Theft Auto because these people even had the foresight to create the hottest video game sensation since Ride to Hell: Retribution crashed (and burned) into your local game shop:

The lesson. Don't dismiss psychopaths simply because of who they are targeting.

Cynical Proverbs 8:14

"If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen"

 Or at least covers your second degree burns with ketchup, you pussy! (Of course turning down the burners to a temperature lower than "inferno" is not an option. The problem is you not putting up with blistering skin and heat stroke like a troopers, you roasting whiner!)

Cynical Proverbs 8:07

"Everything happens for a reason"

And often that reason is, "people feel like being shitty, today!" (Oh I'm sorry did you want a good reason?)

Cynical Proverbs 8:01

"Stop and smell the roses."

 I would comment on this one but we already got deep introspective musing on this very subject by our nation's brattiest philosopher and his pseudo-existing tiger. So deconstruct away, Bill Watterson:

Cynical Proverbs 7:25

"You can't judge a book by it's cover"

OK this one does have some basis in reality. One day I bought this new line of toilet paper. And right when I was in the middle of using it, I realized it was Ann Coulter's new book. Oopsie! See how easy it is to make that mistake?

In any case, you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. You should also judge it by it the kiss-ass, bought-off reviews and celebrity endorsements on the laudatory jacket. So if you first meet a potential dating partner and he or she isn't recommended by Booklist, then forget it!

Cynical Sincere Proverbs 7:18

Yep it's time for more of that gosh durn "original thinking" I've heard so much about, as I come up with my own sayings that you'll eventually be bored by through years of overuse resulting in these genuine words or wisdom being caustically mocked by the Internet (wow what kinds of asshole would end up doing that, anyway?) Oh right the quotation:

"The problem with America is that it refuses to treat equal rights as special privileges like it's suppose ta."

Cynical Proverbs 7:11

"With great power comes great responsibility"

This, of course is the widely-known quote of the Spider-Man mythos (which you know, because if you ever seen the Peter Parker story in any media, you'll hear this little manta drilled into your mind ad nauseam.)

Which is weird because as this world has demonstrated time and again, the entire point of getting power is to insulate yourself against responsibility. Duh! Responsibility is for the little people. Power is the gated community designed to make sure responsibility gets arrested for trespassing if it gets anywhere in their realm. Geez, Spidey, maybe you should bitten by a bit of radioactive common-sense.*

*Calm down fanboys, I'm a Spider-Man enthusiast. Really.

Note to Whoopi: Bill Cosby has already slipped "innocence" a Mickey

Whoopi Goldberg's refusal to own up to her mistake on this issue and double-down on her questionable defense of Bill Cosby diminishing innocence (like like those Republicans who refuse to back down from bad ideas because they value stubbornness over rational thinking) reminds of another annoying factor that's been hovering around this scandal and in need of a slight vocabulary alignment: the mindless repetition of "innocent until proven guilty." Now, this is generally a wonderful (and critical) component of our justice system, but a few things need to be considered to put the phrasing into the proper context.

For one we already have plenty of "proof." In addition to the numerous testimony of victims coming forward (which as pointed out previously is a form of evidence) with very similar story's we now have Cosby's own confession (in a court of law, even!) What more "proof" does Whoopi need? Does she need to go into his bedroom and see the act itself with her own eyes? Although somewhat understandable, people like Whoopi are confusing a conviction with guilt. They tend to be related but not always. For instance, the statute of limitations for many of Cosby's accusers has already expired (he's been at it for decades, remember?) For other's we've seen that he simply buys them off. So the unlikelihood of Cosby being convicted and jailed for these crimes is not an indication that we simply ignore the increasing evidence against his profession of innocence. And that's just in a court of law. Imposing that strict guideline on public opinion (which needless to say is not a trial) is particularly silly. The public isn't using irrational, arbitrary reasons for their opinion about Cosby's guilt. It's why prominent Cosby defender Jill Scott had to recant her defense and admit that she was rallying for the wrong side: Cosby's confession confirmed that it was no longer rational to do so, since this is Cosby being convicted by his own words.

Update: Demonstrating that sometimes shaming can be used for the power of good, evidence and good sense has made it's way through the stubbornness of Whoopi's relentless defense of Cosby, and she confesses, that yeah, those accusations may have some merit after all. She even acknowledges a point I made here about the statute of limitation laws factoring into why Cosby is not being found "guilty in a court of law" (Whoopi's main point of contention about the issue.) In fact, to give Whoopi some credit for finally turning away from excusing the inexcusable, I'll cite from the article linked and let her have the word on this:

“I have to say I thought that, yeah, here’s all the information, take his ass to jail,” Goldberg said. “I find out from you [Abrams] that that’s not possible. So I can’t say any more ‘innocent until proven guilty,’ because there’s no way to prove it. We are the only proof that folks have.”

Hello Mary Lou, Update 2 (4-27-2018): Well the good news is that we no longer have to confuse conviction with guilt because now that ol' Bill have been convicted of Cosby-ing at least one woman (out of, like, 60) we can stop misusing tired "innocent before proven guilty" rhetoric and come up with fresh new strawman arguments to rationalize sexually assaulting unconscious women (maybe a piece of false equivalency between a poor black teenager and a man who exploited his "beloved father figure" privilege and imagery to get away with raping his way through every other women without consequence for years perhaps?)

That's NOT where your pudding pop goes, Bill Cosby!

I am not at all surprised by the recently unsealed court transcripts that said that, yeah, Bill Cosby did try to ply women with drugs in order to sexually take advantage of them. I mean at this point I think it would be harder to find women who haven't been taken advantage of by Mr. Cosby. I still admit to being disappointed by this conformation of Cosby's morally repulsive actions and the fact that he has been able to get away with this for so long by paying his victims off (But only if she remained a sufficiently educated rape victim, because Cosby's's not going to let a little thing like sexual assault get in the way of a little sanctimonious moralizing.) However it's always disheartening when a man that was so admired within America in general and the Black community in particular has fallen so far from the "image" he maintained. I talked a bit about my somewhat confused feelings about this on another post:

I never had any "hero-worship" toward Cosby, but as a black man (which of course means that I'm the sole voice of Black America), I did have admiration for him. Keep in mind that this was at a time when Black people were depicted as jive-talking buffoons and ill-tempered thugs...when we were featured at ALL (Hee, "the more things change" huh?) His show gave America a different (and sorely needed) look at a little-seen slice of the African-American experience. When you grow up in a society that constantly tries to limit your options, things like that can mean a lot.

So no, I'm certainly not going to "defend" Cosby here (Hey, when a woman doesn't want you to put you "pudding pop" near here her "Jello cup", you better well listen to her, buddy!), but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any admiration for other past achievements (Incidentally this is also the take I use regarding the Founding Fathers.). It's not enough to get him off the hook for "Cosbying" his way through a swath of women though.

Of course Cosby himself, hypocritically contributed to the "jive-talking Blacks" stereotype himself by chastising African-Americans who didn't follow the edicts he determined they should have, like listening to that rap music (which gives them the brain damage) or not going to college, or (gasp!) failing to keep their pants up (something that Cosby apparently had trouble doing himself.) By the way, that loud beeping noise you heard is the irony detector going off. Unfortunately by trying to preserve a "positive" image of African-Americans through condescending self-righteousness "How Proper Black People Should Act", Cosby just instead validated the false narrative of the "Good Blacks" who deserve rights and freedom from abuse and "Bad Blacks" who don't (and we've seen some of the damage that type of mentality can cause.)

A few other annoying point about this disgusting system of abuse. First regarding this particular incident that I linked, there is something important to keep in mind for those who say that this doesn't "prove anything." As I said on a message board:

Let's stop here for a minute to point out that having sex with a woman without her consent is rape, REGARDLESS of whether they took the drugs willingly or not (from the way most of the women describe the situation, I'd say they were drugged without their knowledge. However it just needs to be pointed out that Cosby wouldn't get off the hook if that were the case, since the point was that they were passed out past the point of consent in either case.)

Even before the court documents came out there was plenty of reason to doubt Cosby (and his somewhat vehement defenders.) One of the most irritating defense was people trying to invoke the ol' "her word versus his" tactic, the typical bane of rape cases. Now usually one of the reasons rape and sexual assault charges are so difficult to get is a lack of collaboration. The Cosby situation however, demonstrates the importance of the victims coming forward because it establishes a systematic pattern of behavior so the stories can then collaborate with each other (and for all the "not enough evidence" naysayers, let's remember that testimony is a form of evidence. There is a reason lawyers try to get so many sources of it.) The voices are now amplified, something that is needed when dealing with the wealthy and powerful (It's why class-action suits are a thing. Money has a bad habit of drowning out people's voices so they need to be particularly loud.) So it's not "his word against hers" but "his word against hers. And hers. And hers. Oh and hers. etc." Each new accuser that pops up is another dent in the credibility of America's favorite trifling Black scold father figure.

Update: And now poor Cosby will have to scold people people without his fancy honorary degrees in Condescension and Quaalude Distribution because some schools are rescinding them. Here's Fordham University's statement on the matter:

"That Mr. Cosby was willing to drug and rape women for his sexual gratification, and further damage those same women's reputations and careers to obscure his guilt, hurt not only his victims, but all women, and is beyond the pale," the statement read.

Pride goeth before a victory: SF Pride baby! Now with pix!

Edited to add...well, you'll see...

It's time again for that Technicolor wonderment San Francisco's Gay Pride. You know the event that's like if  you took Mardi Gras, a frat party, a rave, a cosplay convention, a street faire, and a parade put into a blender and wrapped in a gaudy glittery rainbow-colored she'll (and being Pride, served at $10.50 a pop.) I continue to be astounded by this event, even after being packed like a sardine on a BART train that took my almost an hour just to get on. (BART must stand Bad at Regulating Traffic. They have like a trillion customers for the day but the utilize only a weekend schedule? Come on now!) But Gay Pride is a such a blast it's usually worth dealing with the huge crowds, loud and sometimes obnoxious kids, and overpriced rainbow draped knickknacks and costumes so outlandish that even Lady Gaga. Plus, to pander to the growing illiteracy of the internet, for this post I've finally saved up 1,000 words and traded them for pictures! Yes, nothing shows off the wonder of Pride like awkward, poorly-cropped, unfocused photos (sorry, Annie Leibowitz I'm not.)  I'm having a little trouble using the picture editing system with this stupid thing right now, so pics will have to come later. Sorry guys.)

And this is why I still get a sense of awe and...well...pride at Pride. Even though I've been to these before, it's amazing how massive the gathering is. I think there were more people at this year's event then ever before. Despite my earlier complaint about crowds, there is a unspoken bond of temporary camaraderie amidst large groups of people who are like you (or at least openly willing to accept people like you). When you are part of a group that's encouraged, nay, persuaded to remain "invisible" and "unacknowledged," having such a blatant visible presence gives a sense of unity (and safety). There is power in numbers.  I also continue to be amazed at the different types of people that were at Pride. When I was growing up their was a perception of the gay community consisting primarily of buff upwardly-mobile white men, which made someone like me feel even more awkward and alienated from people. To see a wide range of enthicities, body types, ages, religious orientations and interests, marching, partying with each other, promoting their various causes shows that the LGBT community us far more vast than the stereotypes suggest. We are in fact everywhere, even if it doesn't always seem that way. However we do have events like Pride to remind us of that fact, which is why I'll always have an appreciation for the event.

I know that (piggybacking on the gay marriage issue I posted about earlier) there is criticism of Pride events as pointless large scale parties that gives a false sense of status about our lot muffles a lot of the issues that still need protest and activism to fight against. And to be fair, there is some truth in that accusation. Then again there were activist groups that wee represented at Pride too. BlackLivesMatter was there and groups calling for the release of Chelsea Manning. Also, so what? Sometimes socializing CAN be an act of protest in and of itself, particularly when a segment of society demands you remain marginalized at best and unseen as worse (something that becomes particularly apparent when we look at Gay Pride events around the world such as Turkey) That's one of the principals behind he rainbow flag. Something that bright and vivid is going to be noticeable and stands out (Especially when it's in the form of skimpy hot pants). Who says we shouldn't have the chance to defy society's expectations and be bright and vivid too? (I won't be in multicolored Lycra though, I promise!)

Update: One group that unfortunately was not represented at San Francisco was ISIS's sex toy division like CNN reported it was in London. Now to be fair to CNN, if you've seen the size of some of those things, you can understand how they might confuse them for Weapons of Mass Destruction. Still I hope San Francisco rectifies this situation next year and invites "terrorists" so that Gaystopo can finish terrorizing  Real American with our oh-so penetrating weapons.
Update 2 Electric Boogaloo: Updated to remove a link to a Taiwanese event that I am now convinced was NOT a gay pride event but the misinterpretation of some conspiracy-theory nutcase. Usually I would be wise enough to see through stuff like that and I apologize for naively helping to sow confusion about a tragic event.

Love has won: Your guide to same-sex marriage

I'm sure everyone has heard the big news about how the Supreme Court has established the Constitutional right of same-sex couples to marry and have this union recognized nationwide. Yes us gays have finally succeeded in "shoving gay marriage down society's throat" and spurting their sticky concepts of equality and liberty all over it's face. Obviously there is only one adequate response to the gays and their incessant need to be treated like equal Americans and have their love legally recognized as much as any Kardashian brand synergistic PR stunt:

Yah!

I'm sorry. Let me try for an expression far more refined and appropriate for the situation:

It's about fucking time!

While we celebrate this achievement in human rights and do our hard-fought and much-deserved victory dance in front of those who thought that a portion of people could be treated as second-class  citizens, it's important to consider a few things by looking at the past, present and future of the gay marriage fight.

(Past). First of all, here's a quick summary/timeline of the gay liberation movement in the US to see what we had to struggle against to get to this point.

Let's be clear: this is not something that was just " granted " to gay people out of the blue. Don't let the fact that the turn-around on gay marriage has been gradual fool you that this happened apropos of nothing. (Let us remember that if was only roughly 12 years ago to that that our nation decriminalized what consenting adults did in their own bedrooms. And only about 7 years ago that "liberal" California passed the discriminatory, unconstitutional Proposition 8. A proposition that the majority of Californians would vote against now, incidentally.) If there is a public shift of opinion on this issue, it's because we refused to remain invisible and silence our voices.  We stood firm for our rights and refuse to back down. Gay people had a lot to struggle against and we fought back. Activism and challenging discriminatory practices does work, don't let "PC" accusations tell you otherwise. Yes it may do so more gradual than many would like, but it's all the more reason to start pushing back against oppression now.

(Present). Here's a very good thorough analysis of the why the Supreme Court made the decision it did.

Again it's important to note that that same-sex marriage was not simply "given" to us by the Supreme Court as a "present", but a a recognition of a right that (via the 14th amendment) should have never been denied in the first place. This was about ending legally sanctioned discrimination against gay relationships for purely arbitrary and irrational reasons (no, "eww gross! I think the gays are icky" is not a sound legal justification.) This is just a reminder that clear-headed people should NOT pander to or enable bigots, because their rhetorical inconsistencies will not withstand a challenge.

(Future). And of course as the repeal of Jim Crow laws has demonstrated, this victory this means that gay people will never face discrimination or repression of their rights ever again! (Insert an Eyeroll of Disbelief so strong I think it's actually affecting the tides.) We've already gotten pushback on this issue from Texas and Louisiana. (Because when you're a lawmaker, "laws" are optional now?) And expect to see more "religious freedom" bullshit flung around by primates who think the god of their choice gave them a legal "right" to impede everyone else's. Not to mentioned that buried under the celebratory nature of the gay marriage ruling is the fact that many gay people in many states are still vulnerable to abuse and discriminatory practices with few means of legal or societal resources. There's still work to do. It's not "over" despite what the naysayers might whine about (hint: you can speed up the process by NOT denying people their god damn rights.)  So yes, supporters of equal rights should celebrate, but not be tempted to settle into complacency because this should be only one of many victories.

But still,

Yah!

Cynical Proverbs 6:27

'Freedom isn't free"

But you can rent it by the hour. I think the going rate is $99.99 for the first hour, and $49.99 each additional hour.

Maybe I shouldn't joke about this. Giving the horrendous Citizen United decision in effect (Corporations are people! Unfortunately not the kind that can be made into Soylent Green?) this slogan might actually be true.

Dylann Roof's massacre: OF COURSE IT'S ABOUT RACE!

I advise readers to go here and read alleged Charleston Church shooter, Dylann Roof's manifesto so we can confirm once and for all what's been apparent from the get-go (major spoiler alert!):


THIS. IS. ABOUT. RACE!


Dylann Roof has not be shy or subtle about what "message" he wants to spread. The big "mental illness" that Mr Roof displayed here is that he simply didn't have the foresight to utilize coded words and dog whistles. The "mental instability" is his lack of subtly to avoid making racists look bad. (If the silly boy had just said he shot because those praying black folk left him "scared for his life" Megan Kelley would already be trying to schedule a softball interview appropriate for martyrdom). It certainly can't be because of the manifesto itself, who's general contents are blared throughout numerous Fox News broadcast, gets codified into law by conservative lawmakers, entrenched into law enforcement policies (as seen here, for instance), echoed as poorly-thought-out message board rationalizations throughout the web (including on many posts about this very tragedy.)

The vile ramblings of bigotry are so normalized that Dylann Roof can spew them openly among friends with merely a shrug of concern among them. But why shouldn't they? After all an armed person ranting such hateful irrational garbage isn't a sign of mental instability in our country. It's an all-too-accepted status quo.

Anyone who continues to insist at point that this is simply a matter of "mental illness" is engaging in willful ignorance and slandering the mentally ill community to boot, afraid to see the stark naked ugliness of the racist mentality ingrained within our system that this Roof monster inadvertently exposed.

But I thought "terrorism" was one of those Islamic words!

OK people let's get the rules straight. When the perpetrator of a mass-killing in the county is sufficiently Muslim-y enough for our sensibilities then:

1) It's unquestionably considered an act of terrorism, particularly since such actions never fail to whip the public in a panic.

2) All Muslim people in the United States (and often, all over the world, since "those people" are suppose to have a hive mind as part of the Collective or something) must grovel in forgiveness of "mainstream America" whether they associated with the killer or not.

So alleged shooter, Dylann Roof (who's "merely" a racist and white nationalist) whose HORRIFIC brutal crime at a historically black church in Charleston was done to inspire terror in on the black populace will be condemned as a brutal terrorist with any white person judged for how much sufficient protest they put up before our concerned society considers them not part of the "radical whites.", right? (I'll wait until the crickets stop chirping before you start to get the picture.)

I'll let someone else do the heavy lifting explaining the hypocrisy and inconsistencies of America's use of this loaded term in regards to the Charleston hate crime (don't worry, he certainly has the mental strength to carry the load.) So, take it away, Glenn Greenwald!

Cynical Proverbs 6:20

A particularly relevant quote today.

 "An armed society is a polite society."

And that's why Somalia is like a fucking haven for Miss Manners! ("Gentle Reader, always remember to say please while you're blowing someone's head off and sending thank you cards to their bullet-ridden corpse is an absolute must.")

Incidentally this call to genteel civility never clarifies who is actually suppose to be polite to who.

Charleston shooting: Society's mental imbalance

Edited to add a few more links

There's a lot to say about the deadly hate crime at a historic black Charleston church (yes! I know! Sickening, isn't it?) that took the lives of nine people as well as the alleged shooter responsible. I already covered a bit of my feelings on the racial component of this type of massacre when dealing with another black person getting shot in a racially-tinged incident, because apparently we must deal with issue on a biweekly schedule now. I'll still have more to say add regarding that theme later on. For now I wanted to get ahead of this particularly rhetorical sleigh-of-hand that usually follows a mass shooting, especially when the conversation turns to rather ludicrous gun control laws; and that's to diminish the gunman's massacre under a superficial diagnosis of "mental illness." (By the way you should also check out this fantastic piece on Salon that says many of the things I'm about to say in a much more thorough and insightful manner. Check it out, it's really good.) Anyway here's why we should be wary of this line of thinking.

First of all, the mentally ill are more likely to harm themselves or be the victims of violent crime, and this just reinforces the stereotype that the mentally ill are dangerous, and therefore make them less likely to seek help or get proper treatment that they need. Secondly, even putting that aside for a moment, the "it's just mental illness" excuse is still typical fallacious "parallel" thinking, which ignores that these attributes can intersect with each other. It's not either/or. Finally this ends up being a "good cop/bad cop" "front" for the type of racist thinking that the gunman exhibited. See this way, idiots who agree with his mentality, but wouldn't put it into such a brutal fashion can have cover for their toxic views ("see we're the 'warm cuddly racist,' by comparison!") And keep in mind that old friends and classmates have said he had racists views, but no one thought it s "big deal" at the time (I would even suggest that the fact that racism has become so "normalize" that we dismiss and diminish and whitewash casual exhibitions of it is the real "mental illness in our society.)

Update: If you want to see what typically happens to the mentally ill then go here. Once again it needs to be emphasized that the mentally ill are more likely to be victims of violent acts (particularly by the same "well-meaning" cops that tend to see African-Americans as a similarly assumed threat) rather than the cause of it. This also gives further emphasis that the problem with Dylann Roof and his utter murderous hatred of black people is not one to be dismissed merely as "mental illness." 

Rancho Santa Fe to drought: "Let them drink sweat!"

Anyone who lives in California knows we are experiencing a rather severe drought. Governor Jerry Brown has enacted some restrictions on water usages for all Californians, hoping to achieve a 25 percent reduction in water consumption. Which was his first mistake, expecting the rich to have to submit to restrictions like they were the soon-to-be-dehydrated commoners or something. Well the community of Rancho Santa Fe (a wealthy suburb of San Diego) sure should showed him and the rest of the state about daring to ask them to share in the responsibility of conserving dwindling resources:

Yuhas lives in the ultra-wealthy enclave of Rancho Santa Fe, a bucolic Southern California hamlet of ranches, gated communities and country clubs that guzzles five times more water per capita than the statewide average. In April, after Gov. Jerry Brown (D) called for a 25 percent reduction in water use, consumption in Rancho Santa Fe went up by 9 percent.

Well, I'm sure there's a very good reason why these rich people needs to be big water hogs during a state water crisis. Mainly that they are better than us. One of the leisure-class idiots pretty much says directly:

People “should not be forced to live on property with brown lawns, golf on brown courses or apologize for wanting their gardens to be beautiful,” Yuhas fumed recently on social media. “We pay significant property taxes based on where we live,” he added in an interview. “And, no, we’re not all equal when it comes to water.”

Well water is a essential necessity of life for all humans and we're in danger of running out of it, but who cares about that when (horror of horrors) there are lawn that might have to look less-than verdant. The poor will just have to start drinking their own urine or something because these people should be able to waste water we're running out of however they see fit if it prevents them from having to suffer such indignities an un-manicured golf course and non-functioning fountain. (And incidentally, dude, water is a community resource that we all share, particularly since Southern California get it from other regions, like up north. Unless the pool is stock with truck-fulls of Evian or something.) Maybe we're being too unfair. I mean, haven't these well-off people suffered enough:

It angers me because people aren’t looking at the overall picture,” Butler said. “What are we supposed to do, just have dirt around our house on four acres?”

Um...yeah? On no, four acres of dirt!  Someone call Amnesty International on her behalf. At this point, even the corpse of Marie Antoinette is shaking her (severed) head at their selfishness and and gross sense of entitlement.

That's the issue right there for people such as this: the notion that for the wealthy, Their privileges should be treated as rights. After all:

“You could put 20 houses on my property, and they’d have families of at least four. In my house, there is only two of us,” Butler said. So “they’d be using a hell of a lot more water than we’re using.”

See? The Rancho-Santa-Fe-exchange-rate is twenty families of four ate worth one woman's lawn. (By the way, she's lying. Acres of grass uses up more water than people and we'd get more function and productivity to boot.) If everyone else had to struggle harder so they won't be inconvenienced, the so be it. The fact that the state is experiencing a drought is not registering with the gated-community class because this is something that affects ALL of California and having to share in the collective responsibility to preserve a resource we ALL need to utilize conflicts with their humongous sense of entitlement. It means having consideration for others and, yes sharing a fate with "those people." Furthermore that means acknowledging that that the inflated sense of power their money usually gives doesn't twist the very elements and Mother Nature to their whims, which must be perplexing to people who aren't used to being told "no."

Rancho Santa Fe to drought: "Don't you know who I am?"
Drought's response: "Don't give a damn. Eventually I'll affect you too."

Edited to add a few snippets of entitled ridiculousness too juicy to avoid commentary. For instance, if we check back through the article we find that equally-rich Yorba Linda is also filled with aqua-douches:

Barbre sits on the 37-member board of directors of the Metropolitan Water District of Southern California, a huge water wholesaler serving 17 million customers. He is fond of referring to his watering hose with Charlton Heston’s famous quote about guns: “They’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands

Something tells me this guy has a habit of having his "hose" in his "cold dead hands" a lot. (And as if his hose would ever be held by anyone other than some underpaid and undocumented immigrant.)

But Rancho Santa Fe is not to be outdone in thoughtless self-centerness:

“I’m a conservative, so this is strange, but I defend Barbra Streisand’s right to have a green lawn,” said Yuhas, who splits his time between Rancho Santa Fe and Los Angeles. “When we bought, we didn’t plan on getting a place that looks like we’re living in an African savanna.”

Oh no! We mustn't have that might look like black people live there! I mean who'da thought that moving into a hot dry climate would be like savanna? We're rich! That means we can defy nature and climatology, right?