Sunday, August 30, 2015

Fuck off: Special Katrina Anniversary Edition!

This will be short and...well not exactly sweet.  How do lightly-toasted rat dicks taste? However they do, there are sure a whole bunch of people who need to eat them in regards to the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina ravaging places like New Orleans.

Blind item: Which moronic douche bag ex-president recently crawled out of the Hole of Good Riddance to speak at the scene of one of his biggest clusterfucks? If you guessed "The-Decider-in-Chief" you win the door prize! It is nice of George W. Bush to briefly speak at a Louisiana charter school (Heh. This failure of an ex-president is speaking at his educational equivalent. I guess our presidents isn't learning after all.) so we get a good reminder of why he's currently as popular and wanted as toe fungus  (yet still more popular than Jeb!) Rather then do silly things like offer self reflection and repentance, he instead used the opportunity to praise the success of things like charter schools  ( for helping to "rebuild" New Orleans after Bush's slow and inadequate response to the Katrina disaster. Now that he has had his say and reminded everyone what a incompetent pustule he is, he can FUCK OFF right back to the oblivion he deserves. Don't want to linger too long there, Bush. After all eventually the townspeople might remember where they left their torches and pitchforks.

Obviously that well-regarded concern for his fellow man was an inherent trait by this Mistress of Empathy, who, let us remember, delightfully rhapsodize about "lucky" all those displaced Katrina evacuees were that they got an impromptu vacay:

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas," Barbara Bush said in an interview on Monday with the radio program "Marketplace." "Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality.""And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway," she said, "so this is working very well for them."

Well sure, a bunch of people lost loved one and their livelihoods and were frantic with worry about the status of missing friends and family or how they were going to put their lives together, but they got to sleep on a public cot in the Astrodome! For "those people" it was like "summering" if the freaking Hamptons.

FUCK OFF, you callous, oblivious old bat!

But let's not exhaust our disgust yet, because there are two big heaping scoops of "FUCK YOUS" reserved for Michael "Heckuva job, Brownie" Brown, who proved that for a former director of FEMA, he was a really good horse trader! For some reason, people seem to think that being the director of an agency that failed spectacularly at response to a disaster means you should be held accountable. Well it's a good thing Brownie found time to whine to Politico to set all those big meanies heaping scorn on him straight. Here's a particular piece of blame-deflecting right here:

“The American public needs to learn not to rely on the government to save them when a crisis hits. The larger the disaster, the less likely the government will be capable of helping any given individual. We simply do not have the manpower to help everyone. Firefighters and rescue workers would all agree the true first responders are individual citizens who take care of themselves. The federal government should be involved only in those disasters that are beyond the capacity of state and local governments to handle. Centralized disaster response at the national level would destroy the inherent close relationship between citizens and those who save their lives and protect their property in times of everyday disasters.”

I'll wait for you to stop slapping your palm to your forehead in exasperation after gagging on that idiocy.

Hey here's a disaster that "might be beyond the capacity of of state and local government to handle": A fucking hurricane that killed over eighteen-hundred people and left tens of thousands homeless and was one of the costliest in history, you rancid pile of shit! (By the way, I love the underlying message of Brown's excuses: "Federal government is full incompetence and ineffectual morons! I'm 'exhibit A.'See look how many suffered putting my self-fulfilled prophecy into effect!"

Maybe I was too subtle. So let me "celebrate" this shameful and sorrowful anniversary by giving every "compassionate and responsible" blast-from-the-past one last parting gift we all know they deserve.


Update (8-31-15): Did you want to hear these very sentiments in a more elegant and nuanced fashion? (If you're reading this blog the answer is obviously "no.")  If so, you have the treat of seeing Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow find a classy way to tear Michael Brown a new asshole over his whiny defensiveness regarding his deadly ineptitude as FEMA chief.

Update II, The New Batch (9-01-15): I've been so upset and disgusted about the callous disregard for the lives lost during Hurricane Katrina, I’ve never considered how "lucky" the victims were to be part of nature’s own urban renewal project. Fortunately we have one Kristen McQueary, columnist for the Chicago Tribune (and fine graduate of the Barbara Bush School of Empathy and Compassion) to tell us not to see 1,800 dead and millions of predominantly poor residents displaced, but dewy-eyed opportunity:

That’s why I find myself praying for a real storm. It’s why I can relate, metaphorically, to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.  

Actually that might sounds a bit insensitive, which is why McQueary quickly edited her column.
That’s why I find myself praying for a storm. OK, a figurative storm, something that will prompt a rebirth in Chicago. I can relate, metaphorically, to the residents of New Orleans climbing onto their rooftops and begging for help and waving their arms and lurching toward rescue helicopters.

Oh well that makes it better! I look forward to McQuaery’s next column were she rhapsodizes about how burning people jumping to their death during the 9/11 terror attack enabled New York revitalization project. Actually I don’t wish that because I have some fucking common sense, so FUCK OFF (“figuratively,” of course) for penning one of the most callously oblivious, tone-def, insulting pieces ever regarding victims of natural disasters. The survivors of Hurricane Katrina deserve much more than to hear some unfeeling cow wishing they’d wash away with the debris so New Orleans can become gentrified playground for the upper-class. 

1 comment:

  1. Well done. Economy sized bags of salted rat dicks for all of them, Katie.