Sunday, August 14, 2016

Cynical Proverbs 8:14: Special Riverdale Edition

"All men are created equal"
"It's just that somen men are more equal than others" --Veronica Lodge ("And stop saying that I bastardized that quote from Animal Farm. My servants doing research assured me that it was an original idea I came up with all on my own! Besides it's so hard the think up sayings when you have to worry about whether Archie asked that bitch Betty out on the same day as you like he did 5,000 other times. Let's see George Orwell deal with important issues like that! And where the hell is the chauffeur with my Lamborghini...")

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

A Very Special Episode of 2+2=7...

In which Stephanie Tanner learns all about meth...the hard way.

Seriously the PSA is all about my "favorite" subject: Police brutality. See what with those nifty newfangled recording thingamabobs (I think the kids call them "cameras") cops are having a sad because their misdeeds and abuses are being captured and exposed for the public to see. Not to worry though because North Carolina governor Pat Mccrory, tired of worrying about transgender people taking a piss has decided on new people to fuck over by signing some POS law that would block police video and body cams from being released to the public. As I pointed out in the link above:


Recent history has shown time and again that law enforcement needs transparancy of cameras and scrutiny of the public (who remeber, they are suppose to be SERVING.)

You only need to Google one of the 50,000 police shootings and brutalities to see an example of the above (plus ANY goverment agency given any kind of authoritative power needs transpanacy from the public to emphasize that they SERVE us not RULE OVER us.) Fortunatly, there's something you can do to help. Go to the Change.org website in the handy little hyperlink sign the petition telling the NC Legislator that we the people will not stand for actions the shield the public from potential abuses from law enforcement. Also spread the word about this and/or donate to the cause if you can. Thank you.

So join us in the next very special episode where Laura Winslow learns An Important Lesson about underage drinking  (mainly that it will help tolerate the annoying meme-generating camera-mugging of Steve Urkel.





Saturday, July 30, 2016

Cynical Sincere Proverbs 7:30

These are words of wisdom that I once bestowed about yet another fool whining about how he's losing some of the privilege of having his belligerent  ignorance pandered to the "elitists" look down on him because they won't tolerate his intolerance:

"When you insist on lying in the gutter, where else can one look but down. Now if you really want, I can help you up; even rinse you off (unless you're covered in fecal matter, then, brother, you better wait until I get the decontamination suit and more scented candles than a Pier One warehouse), but for Pete's sake, don't pull me down with you just your stank ass can meet someone eye-to-eye."

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Da Mic Drop: Michelle Obama

Da Mic Drop is a regular segment, where we look at people who make such a pointed "standing-ovation-worthy" commentary in regards to a person or issue that it has to be highlighted. 

Now i usually I want until a few weeks apart to regularly feature this segment, but since this will be First Lady Obama's last oration in her position, I decided to highlight her very well-regarded speech  at the Democratic National Convention showcasing why she was one elegant classy lady (so much so, that even The Trumpanzee couldn't really throw poo at). I mean seriously, in a sea of great speeches, this one still stood out like a beacon.





One most remarkable elements about Michelle Obama in general (and this speech in general) is that she is a master of "kill 'em with kindness." Here she is, demonstrating that philosophy in this segment which ends with what is destined to be a quote for the ages:
That is what Barack and I think about every day as we try to guide and protect our girls through the challenges of this unusual life in the spotlight, how we urge them to ignore those who question their father’s citizenship or faith.
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
How we insist that the hateful language they hear from public figures on TV does not represent the true spirit of this country.
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
How we explain that when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don’t stoop to their level. No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high. (Emphasis mine)

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Da Mic Drop: Glenn Greenwald

Da Mic Drop is a regular segment, where we look at people who make such a pointed "standing-ovation-worthy" commentary in regards to a person or issue that it has to be highlighted. 

This one will be a quickie, which will be a surpruse because it involves Glenn Greenwald, who regular readers of his columns know usually thoughtful, detailed, long-winded factually-sourced analysis on political and media matters that often challenge conventional wisdom and causes one to re-examine the status quo narrative often imposed on government policy or journalism (a stance I like, despite the encyclopedia-legth post because even when I don't quite agree with Glenn, he explains hiself well enough so I can at least see where he is coming from. You really don't get that from political discussions nowadays.) Hilarious enough Glenn is also one of the (ugh) "Twiterrati" somehow about to condense his verbosity into 140 characters or less. This sonetimes necessitates a slight change of tone as we find out that (meow!) certain rather plesant news can bring out Greenwald's catty side:


If you know any payday lenders, give them a hug today. https://twitter.com/CNN/status/757304711783575552
1:20 PM - 24 Jul 2016
293 RETWEETS584 LIKES
Note, that I'm not saying I disaprove. Burn. (Edited to Add: To those who don't "get" what Greenwald's well deserved jab at Wasserman-Schultz is about just go here. Or here too.)

Actually Glenn is far more right-on at making pithy little comments then I expected (since his more serious style could easily be considered by some as "boring.") For instance this awesome comment from a few months ago really deserves a T-shirt emblem, stat:


SERIOUSLY! Sheesh! A lot of the criticism Hilary has recieved came about way before Trump stopped pretending to fire people or ogling bikini-clad pagent contestants, so they shouldn't always be conflated.  (And for the record NO politician should be immune from critcism. That's an abdication of our responsibilities as citizens.

Da Mic Drop: AnBheal

New segment here, where we look at people who make such a pointed "standing-ovation-worthy" commentary in regards to a person or issue that it has to be highlighted.

If your wondering who the hell "AnBheal" is , he (or she) is only a Salon commenter who left a brilliant response to yet another contrarian scold of an article (yet more blah blah blah about "angry Trump supporters" who as we know are the only demographic in existence and are so ignored what with only about 2,654 articles about how we need to pander to them and the only them and how people who actually think elitist aren't giving enough respect to their willful ignorance):



AnBheal
"Liberals condescend to 'these people' at their peril"??? Oh man, I am so sick and tired of professional blowhards spouting this Libertarian lie!!!  No, Mr. Yimberg, YOU condescend.  The TeaParty condescends.  The mainstream media condescends.  And Libertarians make more money from encouraging the condescension.  Liberals (in any sane interpretation of the term, a la Gladstone or Burke or FDR) do just the reverse.  They advocate for higher incomes, better union representation, and a bigger slice of the political, economic, and juridical pie. 

What Liberals sometimes do (a la Thomas Frank) is occasionally scratch their head and wonder why a teen burning a flag in New Jersey or a gay couple getting married in Vermont or a scared college student getting an abortion in Manhattan could possibly convince a coalminer in West Virginia to vote for a politician who promises to ruin the coalminer and his family.  That's not "sneering".  That's not "condescension".  In fact, it's a super-Hegelian dialectic, wondering how in heaven's name did that poor white person get snookered into giving their last crust of bread to a banker, and doing it willingly?

And the answer as Phil Ochs and Nina Simone pointed out, is Mississippi.  Racism is the 250-year cancer of the American soul.  And if Liberals don't like racism, that is not sneering.  That is not "condescension".  That is calling a racist cracker a racist cracker, and hoping that he wakes the fuck up, and that some morning he will vote for his own three quarters of a crust of bread, even if a damn n**ger gets a quarter of the crust.

Because right now the Tea Party and the Libertarian National Front are selling these sneerable and condescendable crackers a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge that says "Mississippi is great, so long as you're the last poor white, with no bread at all, but one more gun and one more Jesus that those n**gers."  And the viciously complicit corporate media sings Alleluia from its Amen Corner. 

Liberals aren't the problem, you corporate shill!!!

Friday, July 22, 2016

Da Mic Drop: D.L. Hughley

Da Mic Drop is a regular segment, where we look at people who make such a pointed "standing-ovation-worthy" commentary in regards to a person or issue that it has to be highlighted. 

Uh-oh, which black person is "reverse-racisming" society by acknowledging that discrimination exist in the country (specifically when it comes to law enforcement)? Why it's actor and comedian, DL Hughley who took a trip to The Stepford Network Fox News so Megyn "I'm 'fixed' so I can toss Trump a few softballs now" Kelley can kindly explain to him that racism and police brutality are not in fact "friends with benefits" and that "the blacks" should be ashamed of themselves for letting the back of their heads get in the way of innocent police bullets and billy clubs. Hughley and Kelley already got off to a rocky start when it was revealed that racism and perjury expert (he leads by example) Mark "yes that Mark Fuhrman" Fuhrman was featured on the previous segment. And then it just deteriorated from there as Hughley proceeded to call Fox News out right to it's blonde plasticine face.

Here's the "money shot" right here:

D.L.: What I’ll tell you is this … it is not uncommon for you all to see one thing … the only place racism doesn’t exist is Fox News and the police department. That’s absolutely true.
MEGYN: Come on, come on, that’s insulting. You just insulted millions of people watching this channel.
D.L.:And you know what? I’m insulted by the things I hear on this network. I could care less about insulting people that insult me on a daily basis. (Emphasis mine.)

"Wow" indeed. Ok that makes up for the otherwise unforgivable crime of being a UPN star, DL Hughley. You are now the Original King of Calling out Bullshit.

Anyway poor Megyn didn't like that at all and proceeded to offer up this polished turd prized jewel in the lack-of-self-awareness crown:


😮

I would say that Fox News desperately needs to buy a mirror and take a good long look at it, but considering who runs (well "ran" at this point) the network, I'm sure they are all being used to look up the anchorbots' dresses.