Cynical Proverbs 3:26

"Two wrongs don't make a right"

Exactly. If a certain party is any indication it takes several wrongs to make a right (complete with a series of sub-wrong spin-offs under that umbrella.)

Cynical Proverbs 3:12

"Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome."

You know in the mental asylum they refer to it as "practice". Or "trial and error." That's why in a sport like basketball if a player misses one free throw in a game he'll miss every shot he makes, right?

"Unintelligible Yelling"

Now, I know this may sound odd for an Internet denizen, but I'm not a huge fan of "memes." I tend to find them as lazy and uninspired and subject to overuse as a good arrow in the knee. (Besides, I prefer more morally uplifting sayings...like proverbs!) But if you missed one if the 4,000 Republican howler monkey exhibits "debates" (seriously, are they a daily occurrence now? Vote these fuckers off the island and be done with it!), then you're in luck, because this screenshot right here from Salon (via CNN's closed captioning) captures the the sheer essence of these information-impaired forums so well, that you never need to watch another one of these things ever again. A meme-worthy image for sure (no matter what that lying baked good tries to tell you.)

Cynical Proverbs 2-27

"You are what you eat"

And given the state of the country and public sphere nowadays, most people must eat shit by the gallon. (In America we specialize in deep-frying it in a tub of hatred.  And bacon grease.)

Cynical Proverbs 2:13

"Both sides do it."

 Ah, the cornerstone of the Golden Mean Fallacy that our body politic pretends is "unbiased analysis." This type of false equivalency in the name of "balance" is such lazy wrong-headed thinking that I've even named my blog for the type of idiotic rhetoric flourishes this phrase represents. So, note to dimwitted pundits and politically inert slackers: from now on this toxic meme should only be reserved for bisexual porn!

Bravery is a pique turn

Often times in our society, we have a rather limited understanding of concepts like "courage" and "bravery" typically linking them to aggressive "macho" behavior (which is why we get so much bravado and posturing from foolish braggarts like this, who are so fearless, that the can't even handle lukewarm questions from a Fox Blonde.) Sometimes we can forget the sheer bravery in simply living your life openly and freely. As such I decided to give you an example of a young man who is doing just that simply by continuing to dance despite not fitting into society's preconceived notions of "appropriate" gender-assigned roles or "courageous men." Just a quick reminder that often, simply buckling the status quo and doing what you're passionate about takes a lot of guts. I say, right on, Sean Varner!

Cynical Proverbs 1:30

"All's fair in love and war."

Which is why i keep having Cupid perform drone strikes on the ones i love. (Uh-oh. I better stop now before some dimwitted senator gets An Idea and "Operation  Cupid" is drafted as a foreign policy proposal.)